Okay, it's been several months since the wife bailed out, so my friends are urging me to start dating again. So, I've been giving it a try.

Well, first I met this girl Anna through work. Nice girl. Russian. Pretty. Educated. So, we go out a few times. Then she decides she's getting back with her ex. So, no harm done. But, then she tells me she's getting back with her ex because she's BEEN fucking her ex the whole time and she's pregnant. Great. Bye bye.

So then there's Laura. Also through work, but not a coworker (if that makes sense). Sweet. College grad. Third date, she says she wants to screw. I'm not sure yet about this girl, and I hesitate. Good thing I did. Turns out she's a fucking psycho. She likes to take pics of herself simulating suicide and put them on the net. Whoa. Bye bye.

So then I meet Leela. Super hot. Blonde. 5'10". Trim. Blue eyes. Looks like something out of a magazine. We hit it off at a party thrown by a friend, and things work out wonderfully. Then, after date 4, she starts talking about kids. Not "I'd like to have kids someday." Oh, no. It's, "Let's make a baby." I'm all "What the fuck? We barely know each other." She says, "We've been out four times. What the hell are you waiting for? I want kids." I'm not against kids, but damn, shouldn't we be together longer than a few weeks first? Her answer: "Get me pregnant or get the fuck out." Bye bye.

Damnit, I know I'm no great prize, but I'm not that damn bad either. Why do I always seem to end up with the fucked-up women? Guess I'm just a freak-magnet. I dunno. Guess, well, I fucked things up with the wife so now I'm being kicked in the ass by that bitch Fate.